Of Love And Pain
by Un-kissable
Summary: "You're strong and kind and true to yourself. You're YOU. That's why we're friends. We have memories. We have stories we can laugh about. We have stories we can be sad about. We're connected, through the good AND the bad." TroyxChad. No bashing. Chardeath
1. Realizing

"You know we have to go. It'll only be a few days. You'll be alright. I'll even call and see if Chad can come keep you company while we're gone." Coach Bolton said. Troy shook his head.

"I don't feel good. And I've just got this bad feeing. Please, dad.." Troy begged softly. He wasn't sure why he was so against them going, but he was sure he needed them to stay.

"Come on, Troy." His mom said, pushing his hair back and kissing his forhead. "We've gone away before and been fine. It's only 3 days."

"Just..please.." Troy begged. He could feel his stomach clenching. His mom shook her head and grabbed her suitcase.

"I'll see you soon. I love you." She said.

They left to catch their plane and he lay on the couch. He thought about how he'd been diagnosed with severe anxiety and wondered if that was all it was. He slowly got up and went into the kitchen. He took the pill bottle down and popped a Prozac. His phone started vibrating and he looked at the text from his father.

'Chad'll be there after practice.' He said. Troy closed his eyes. Another thing he hated about anxiety. He'd had to stop basketball. The stress from it had caused an ulcer. He texted back 'ok' and set his phone down. He lay stomach down on the couch and closed his eyes. He didn't wake up until he heard a loud knocking on the door. He got up slowly, wondering why Chad didn't just walk in, and opened the door. There were two police officers on the other side of the door.

"Um..hi?" He said, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He looked rather young when he first woke up, his too big t-shirt mussed and his jeans slung just a bit lower that necessary from the squirming he'd done in his sleep.

"Troy Bolton?" The brunette asked. He nodded. "I'm afraid..there's been an accident."

Troy's eyes snapped open. His parents? No..they were fine..they were on an airplane heading to England..they promised they'd be alright.

"What do you mean?" He asked slowly. The blond shook his head.

"Um..there was a case of engine failure..on the plane your parents were on." He said. Troy shook his head.

"Are they in the hospitol?" Troy asked, feeling bile rising up in his throat. The blond shook his head.

"Do you know of anyone you can stay with until everything gets sorted out?" He asked.

"S-sorted out?" He asked. He was shaking. "B-but they're coming back right?"

The brunette bit his lip and shook his head. "Troy, they died. Everyone died."

Troy promptly vomited on the floor. The officers jumped back.

"Do you need to go to a hospitol?" The blond asked. Troy felt tears ripping down his cheeks. "Troy?"

"Troy?" Chad's voice called out. He sank down to his knees, his arms spread, holding him up as he vomited again. Chad's hand was on Troy's back moments later. "Hey, you know better than to get yourself worked up like this. And what's with the cops?"

"It's not true. It can't be true.." Troy said softly. He coughed and wiped his mouth.

"What?" Chad asked

"Are you a relative?" The brunette asked. Chad looked at the cops.

"My parents are his god-parents." Chad said.

"Can you call them? They'll want to know." The brunette said.

"Want to..? What happened?" He asked.

"I told them not to go. I should've made them stay. It's my fault. I should've tried harder." Troy was talking to himself now.

Chad looked at him and realization clicked into place. He got down to his knees so he could be level with Troy and pulled his face up.

"Come on. You're going to brush your teeth and change your shirt. We're going to get everything you need and you're going to come to my house. Got it?" He demanded.

Troy sniffled and nodded. Chad hauled him up and brought him into the bathroom. He was almost dead weight against Chad. He wasn't crying, and that would scare Chad until he did. Troy brushed his teeth thoroughly, his expression suggesting that the simple task required a lot of concentration. For all Chad knew, it did.

He went into Troy's room and grabbed a loose shirt and his favorite hoodie. He came back into the bathroom to find Troy sitting on the edge of the tub. Chad's heart was pounding. It felt like everything was in slow motion. But the addrenaline rush made him feel like he was speeding. He grabbed the hem of Troy's shirt and pulled it off.

"Come on, you can dress yourself." Chad said. Troy seemed to snap out of his haze then. He pulled on his shirt and hoodie. "What do you need?"

"I have cloths at your house. I'll come back for more if I need to." He said, grabbing his toothbrush. "My meds are downstairs. Um..my phone charger.."

He went into his room and grabbed his charger and car keys. Suddenly Chad's hand was on his.

"We'll take my car, alright?" He said.

Troy took a deep breath and gave him his keys. He grabbed a very worn out looking blanket that Chad knew to be his baby blanket, and he also knew Troy wouldn't be able to sleep without the thing. Just another bit of knowledge he'd aquired over the years. Chad waited until Troy finished zipping around his room and put his arm around his shoulders.

"My parents are waiting." Chad said softly. Troy nodded, moving to go downstairs. "Wait."

Troy turned back around.

"What?" He asked.

"Shoes, Troy." Chad said. Troy looked at his socked feet and gave an embarassed grin.

"Right. Those." He pulled his shoes on and they went downstairs.

Chad grabbed Troy's medication out of the cabinet and went to the door where the cops were still waiting. Chad noticed with a feeling of gratitude that they'd cleaned up Troy's vomit.

"I'm going to bring him to my parents house." Chad said. The blond nodded.

"We'll be heading there then. We'll see you soon." He said, touching his hat.

Chad nodded and led Troy out to the car. Troy was looking ill as he buckled in. Chad watched him carefully from the corner of his eye on the drive back to his house. Troy rested his head against the window.

"I was sleeping." He mumbled.

"You can go back to sleep when we get to my house." Chad offered.

Troy nodded slowly, and then the damn broke. Suddenly, his eyes were stinging, his chest was clenching, and his head was pounding. He couldn't breathe. As the tears began to fall he fought past the lump in his throat.

"Chad!" He gasped out.

The darker boy pulled over and shut the car off. He jumped out and ran around the car. He opened the passenger door and Troy plunged into his arms. Chad hugged him tightly and played with Troy's hair.

"Why?" Troy let out the word in a muffled shout.

"I don't know, Troy. I don't know." Chad said.

"Chad, don't leave me. Please." Troy begged.

"Never, Troy. Never." Chad said, his back begining to ache from the angle he was at. "We need to get back to the house, ok? Then we can go in my room and talk."

Troy nodded, his tears splashing into his lap where his fists were balled. He didn't want to talk. He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. He wanted to sleep. But talking? No. Forget it.

When they reached the house Troy didn't want to get out. Chad pulled him out of the car and held him as he sobbed into his arms. He knew that this would be a long night. Troy had an iron grip on Chad's jacket and Chad had a tight hold on Troy.

"Come on, Troy. We just need to get inside. Then you can do whatever you want." Chad said.

Troy looked up at Chad, his face entirely broken, his eyes alive with pain. It was rare that their height difference was even brought to mind, but Chad had a full head on Troy, and the shorter boy seemed to be shrinking. He was withdrawing into himself. Chad put his arm around Troy's shoulders and steered him into the house. Troy was hiding his face. He didn't want to talk to anyone right now, and he was sure Chad's parents wouldn't realize that.

When they opened the door Chad's mother was on them in a second. She pulled Troy into a tight hug, but didn't say anything. Troy's fingers gripped her shirt.

Chad stood by, watching his mother comfort his best friend. She cradled him in her arms as he sobbed, and he found himself wishing he was the one to comfort him. Troy suddenly looked at Chad, his eyes bloodshot and begging. It was too much right now. There were too many people. Chad had forgotten, his parents were having a party today. Half the town was watching this take place. Chad reached out and pulled Troy against him.

"Come on, let's go upstairs." He said softly.


	2. Feeling

Chad led Troy up to his room. The shorter boy was edxhausted, that was no secret. Troy curled up on Chad's bed and closed his eyes. Chad kicked off his shoes and climbed in beside him. Troy imediately moved so he could be closer to the other and rubbed at his weepy eyes.

"Are you gonna be here when I wake up?" Troy asked.

"Yeah, of course I am." Chad said softly.

"Promise?" Troy asked.

"Promise." Chad said, rubbing Troy's back gently. Troy simply nodded and closed his eyes. He was asleep before Chad even knew it.

When the party guests had all left his mother came into the room. He smiled sadly at her and she simply looked at Troy. Even in his sleep he looked defeated. She sat on the edge of the bed and his eyes slowly opened.

"Hey." She said softly.

"Hey." He said, looking at where he was. He was a wet mark where his head had been moments before and realized he'd been crying in his sleep. He looked up slowly. "I wasn't a dream, was it?"

Troy swallowed hard.

"No, it wasn't." She said.

"What am I gonna do?" He whispered.

"You're going to come stay with us. You're going to finish school. You're going to be ok." She said. Troy looked at her.

"I can't go back to school." He said. "I can't."

"I know. Not right now. You'll have to go back eventually." She said. He gripped his pants tightly. He wanted to scream. School? She was thinking about fucking SCHOOL? His PARENTS were DEAD. Didn't that mean anything?

"Troy, calm down." Chad said softly. His entire body was shaking, his face was turning a pale green, his eyes watered. "Troy."

"Huh?" He whimpered.

"Come on. Let's go." Chad said. He pulled Troy up off of the bed and walked him down to the bathroom. He yanked up the toilet seat just as Troy collapsed and threw up. He rubbed Troy's back gently.

"You don't have to worry about school right now, ok? You need to worry about you. My mom'll come around. Don't let her get to you." Chad said softly.

Troy leaned against Chad and closed his eyes. Chad wrapped his arms around him and sighed seeing virtually nothing in the toilet.

"You need to eat something." Chad said softly.

"I don't want to. I don't want to do anything. I want to scream. I want to rip something apart. And I don't even know why, because I'm still somewhere between shock and mourning. I don't want to feel this way because it's not real yet." Troy said. "And I'm so pissed."

"You can be pissed as you want. You can feel anything you want right now." Chad said.

"I don't want to feel it." Troy whispered.

"Just stay here. Right here. I know I can't fix what happened..but I can be here to help you through it." Chad said. Troy closed his eyes and  
cuddled against Troy shamelessly. "But if you're gonna stay in my bed you need to brush your teeth."

"Alright." Troy said, his voice low but with a slight laugh in it. Chad ran his fingers through the boy's hair. They were both aware that neither was straight, so they didn't hide it from each other, more to the fact that they embraced it. There was a mutual attraction, but both were too afraid to act on it.

Troy stood and retrieved his toothbrush from Chad's room and brushed his teeth. He was rubbing at his eyes when he was done, but he wasn't crying. Chad led him into the room and Troy went through the cloths in Chad's closet and pulled out a large white t-shirt that was baggy on him and he stripped down to his boxers. He pulled on the white shirt, and it felt so normal. This was generally what would have happened tonight anyway, but he didn't like the circumstances. He felt tears slide down his cheeks again and suddenly Chad's arms were around him again. He turned and buried his face in Chad's chest. He couldn't believe they were gone. He'd just seen them this morning. He sobbed into Chad's shirt. They left even when he begged them to stay.

"They fucking left me!" His scream was muffled but nonetheless, audible.

"They didn't mean to, Troy." Chad said.

"Yes they did! I BEGGED them to stay! They didn't listen!" Troy screamed. Chad squeezed him closer.

"They didn't know this would happen." Chad said softly.

"But they didn't love me enough to stay." Troy sobbed.

"They loved you." Chad said. "You know they did. You were everything to them."

"Chad I can't do it. I can't live without them." Troy whimpered. Chad lifted his face.

"Don't you DARE leave me. They didn't have a choice. You do. Please, don't take yourself away from me." Chad said, stroking his hair. "I need you. And I'll be there for you. Don't do this."

Troy grabbed Chad's shirt and nodded, not trusting his voice. Chad lifted Troy off the floor in a tight hug. Troy wrapped his legs around Chad's waist and buried his head in Chad's neck.

"You're gonna be alright, Troy. You really are." Chad whispered. Troy remained silently wrapped around him before moving to the bed and laying down with Troy on top of him. Troy shifted slightly so he wasn't stradling Chad's waist.

"What if your mom walks in?" Troy asked.

"She'll deal with it." Chad said, wrapping his arms around Troy. "Now get some sleep. You need it."

"But I'm scared to go to sleep and wake up and think that everything's ok and then find out it's not." Troy said.

"You have to sleep eventually." Chad said.

"Don't leave while I'm sleeping." Troy said softly.

"I won't. Pinky promise." Chad said, holding out his pinky. Troy hooked his in and they swung their hands back and forth for a moment.

"What's going to happen to my parents house?" Troy asked suddenly. "Who's going to set up the funeral? Oh my God, Chad, I can't do it. I can't."

"Don't think about that right now." Chad said.

"What else am I supposed to think about?" Troy asked.

"Close your eyes." Chad said. Troy obeyed, resting his head on Chad's chest. "What do you feel?"

"I dunno." Troy said softly. "Scared. Abandoned. Lone-"

"Physically, Troy." Chad said. Troy quieted for a moment.

"I feel you breathing. Your chest under mine." He paused.

"You're warm. Your arms are around me. Your breath in my hair. Your body under mine. Your skin under my face."

"How does that make you feel?" Chad asked.

"Safe." Troy whispered. Chad laced their fingers together.

"And what about this?" Chad asked.

"Comfortable." Troy whispered. Chad trailed his fingers along Troy's eyes and nose.

"And this?" Chad asked.

"Sleepy." Troy mumbled.

"Think about those feelings. Think about everything that you can physically feel right now. You'll be able to sleep then." Chad said. Troy let out a soft sigh and cuddled closer.

"There's one more thing I'm feeling." Troy said.

"What's that?" Chad asked.

"Terror.." Troy said as he drifted to sleep.

Chad looked at Troy in concern. The boy was perfectly on top of him, like their body's were made to fit together. Chad slowly drifted to sleep.


	3. Drive

When he woke the next morning Troy was sleeping peacefully on him. He gently stroked Troy's hair and the boy shifted. He looked up at Chad with sleep heavy eyes.

"Tired." Troy said. His eyes were barely open and his hair was a mess.

"Sorry?" Chad said tiredly.

"Last night. You asked how I was feeling every few seconds. I'm tired." Troy said.

Chad nodded slowly. He pushed Troy up so he was straddling his waist. The shirt he'd slept in was wrinkled and riding up to show the top of his left hip. His boxers were slung just a little low.

"Do you always try to wiggle out of your cloths?" Chad asked softly, laughing a bit.

"Yeah. I don't do it on purpose." Troy grinned a bit.

"Sure you don't." Chad said, running his fingers along Troy's thigh.

"That's not funny." Troy said, squirming a bit to escape Chad's fingers. "You know I'm ticklish."

"I know." Chad said, sitting up and wrapping his arm around his waist and tickling him with his free hand. Troy laughed and tried to squirm away without success. Chad smiled at him with a strange expression, and he set Troy down on the bed moments before his mom walked in.

"How'd you guys sleep?" She asked. Troy looked at her and his heart sank. She looked as though she hadn't slept.

"Better than you, it looks like." He said.

"Well, you know how it can be." She said gently. "Come on downstairs whenever you're ready. I'll make you some breakfast..there's someone here who wants to talk to you."

"Oh.." He said. Chad looked at him nervously.

"Is now really the best time?" Chad asked.

"No, no it isn't. But he won't listen." She said.

"We'll be down in a little while." Troy said quietly. She nodded and left the room. "Chad..my stomach hurts."

"You need to eat before you throw up. You don't want another ulcer." Chad said slowly.

"I don't care about that. I just want to stay here. With you, I mean." Troy said, shaking his head. "I can handle life when I'm with you. I'm not stressed or upset when I'm with you. I'm not sure I can handle the world without you."

Troy closed his eyes and bowed his head, afraid of the reprocutions. Chad hugged him tight.

"You don't need to face it without me. I'm here." Chad said. "And as cute as you look in those cloths, you need to get dressed."

"Why?" Troy asked.

"Because, we're going to go downstairs, and we're going to do something. Whatever you want." Chad said.

"Can't we just stay in bed?" Troy asked.

"No. Not at all." Chad said. "You can't hide away."

"Just for a little while. Chad, I don't want to see anyone yet."

"You don't have to. Just tell this guy to come back in a few days." Chad said.

Troy trembled slightly and nodded. He got dressed and so did Chad, and slowly, they made their way downstairs. Troy cuddled against Chad's side as they made their way into the kitchen. Troy was wearing his favorite hoodie and he had the hood up over his head. Chad's mom rubbed his back gently as he sat at the table and stared at the patterns in the wood.

"He just wants a word. Then you can do whatever you want." She said. He nodded slowly.

The man he was then introduced to was a short balding lawyer. He stared awkwardly at his lap.

"I have your parents will. I need to know when would be convinient for you to discuss it." He said.

Convinient? Never. Never was convinient. Could they set up a date for never? He looked up at the man before him.

"Give me till Friday, ok? I can't do it right now." He shook his head, his throat closing. "I can't."

Chad moved behind Troy and he put a hand on his shoulder. Troy grabbed Chad's hand almost immediately.

"Can we go now? Please?" He asked, whimpering.

"Yeah. Put your shoes on." Chad said. Troy jumped up and went to Chad's room. Chad looked at the lawyer. "Friday. Ok?"

"Yeah. Absolutely." He said, standing and saying goodbye before leaving.

Troy came downstairs moments later. He looked at Chad with watery eyes and was pulled into a comfortable hug.

"The world is your playground. Where would you like to go?" Chad asked.

"Just pick a direction and drive." Troy whispered.

"Alright." Chad said. He led the way out to the car and Troy got in quietly.

"I want to go where no one knows us. Somewhere no one will recognize us." Troy said.

Chad started the car and took a left out of the driveway. He drove silently, and Troy seemed content to sit by and watch the scenery fly past. Chad let his right hand sit in his lap and eventually he felt Troy's hand in his. The boy was still looking out the window, but he squeezed Chad's hand like a lifeline. Chad eventually pulled off into a town he had never heard of and parked the car. He pulled Troy out and went into the first resteraunt he saw. They sat in a seat in the far corner of the resteraunt and sat side by side in the booth. Troy was between Chad and the wall, staring blankly at the menu, but still holding Chad's hand under the table.

"Anything you want, Troy." Chad said. Troy looked at him as though just realizing he was there.

"Chicken soup." He mumbled.

The waitress appeared shortly after and took their drink orders, not bothering to take the food orders yet. Troy sat silently, leaning against Chad.  
When they left the resteraunt Chad didn't try to bring Troy back to the car, didn't try to force reality on him. Troy was having a hard enough time. He stopped suddenly and looked at Chad. He was gasping slightly. An anxiety attack. Chad pulled him against him.

"Focus." He said softly, his fingernails gently scratching Troy's scalp. "What do you feel?"

"Body. Fingers. Hair." He said quickly.

"Specific." Chad said.

"Your fingers are in my hair." Troy said. "Your body is against mine." He paused for a breath, slower, deeper this time. "Your heartbeat. I can..I can feel your heart beating."

"How does that make you feel?" Chad asked. Troy took another slow breath.

"I don't know. Safe. Scared. Happy. Sad. Tired." Troy said.

"Shh. What do you want to do?" Chad asked.

"I wanna go to bed." He mumbled.

Chad smiled sadly at Troy.

"Alright. Let's go home." Chad said.

Troy held onto Chad's hand on the way back to the car, but he had to let go to get into the car. He was focusing souly on Chad. He was something to think about. But he didn't want to put Chad in place of what he was supposed to be dealing with. When he got in the car he plunged through the memories of his parents, a stockpile of perfect memories. He didn't take Chad's hand when it was offered. He curled up into a ball on the seat.

"Chad." He whispered. "I need to.."

"You need to think about what happened. You need to dwell for a little while. You need to cry and scream and do all the things that you think will help. You need to let your heart break, so we can fix it, ok?" Chad said. Troy nodded.

"Chad..I can't bring it on whenever I want. I need to let it happen." Troy said. Chad nodded.

"I know. I just..I had to prove that I'm here." Chad said.

When they got back to Chad's house Troy imediately went to Chad's room.

He curled up on the bed and closed his eyes. Chad walked in and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Come here." Troy whispered.

Chad moved closer to Troy and lay beside him. Troy rested his head on Chad's chest and his eyes fell halfway shut. But he couldn't sleep. It had only been minutes since they'd arrived back from their adventures, but his exhaustion dissapeared as soon as he lay down. He was quiet for a while before he suddenly looked up at Chad.

"I'm bored." He said.

"I thought you were tired." Chad said. "Are you having mood swings?"

"I can't be sad all the time." Troy shrugged.

"I suppose not." Chad said. "You're so unpredictable."

"No I'm not. Not really." Troy said. Chad rolled his eyes.

"What would you like to do?" Chad asked.

"I dunno." Troy shrugged. Chad sighed at his friend.

"Troy.." Chad said.

"What?" Troy asked. Chad put an arm around his waist and pulled him closer.

"Come here." Chad said. Troy laced his fingers under his chin and rested them on Chad's chest.

"What?" He asked.

"Wanna play basketball?" Chad asked. Troy's stomach clenched a bit.

"No." He whispered.

"Hey, are you alright?" Chad asked.

"No." Troy said.

He moved so he was curled up against Chad's side and his face was pressed into his peck. Chad rolled onto his side and wrapped his arms around Troy and held him.

"I can't even tell if I'm really sad. Like, I think I'm looking for reason's to be sad so I don't seem weird. It just hasn't hit me yet." Troy said.

"Well forcing yourself to be depressed won't help any." Chad's mothers voice floated into the conversation. "I'm sorry to do this, Troy, but we need to talk."

* * *

_**A/N: So this isn't typical for me to update twice in a day, but I text myself the chapters, so sometimes I have enough content to update more than once in a day. And can someone explain how a beta worksin a PM? xD**_


	4. Crying

_**"I'm sorry to do this, Troy, but we need to talk."**_

* * *

Troy looked up at her from under Chad's arm.

"About what?" He asked.

"..the funeral, Troy." She said, coming in to sit on the bed as Chad and Troy sat up. Troy leaned against the wall.

"What about it?" He asked.

"Well, you're their son. You should have a say." She said softly. "I was thinking maybe we should have it on Monday."

"M-monday?" He breathed out. Monday. School. Teachers. Funeral. No school. No teachers. But he wouldn't go anyway. "White roses?"

"Yes, of course Troy." She said. "Do either of you want to speak at it?"

"Yeah." Chad said imediately. Troy's mind was in a far away place. Chad touched him lightly and what was on his mind came pouring out.

"We went on vacation a lot. I remember one time we went to Mexico and they were setting up for Cinco De Meyo. The Day Of The Dead. Mom said if she died she wanted them to play Meet You There by this band called Simple Plan. She said they were a really depressing band. Dad wanted The Day That I Die from Good Charlotte." He said.

"We can play those." She said. Troy stared at his lap.

"I'll talk if I can." Troy said. She nodded.

"The other thing is..do you want them cremated?" She asked. He looked up at her.

"They..found their bodies?" He asked. She nodded. He shook his head. "No. I..I need to see them."

"Alright." She said. "Tell me when you want to go. They won't keep you from seeing them."

"Can we go now?" He asked.

"Right now, Troy?" She asked.

"The anxiety will tear him apart if he had to wait even until tomorrow." Chad said. She nodded.

"Put your shoes on." She said. Troy felt his stomach drop as he pulled on his shoes and followed her out to the car. Chad followed them down to  
the car and sat in the back with Troy.

It was a short ride and Troy wasn't sure if that was good or bad. He got out of the car slowly after Chad. They followed Chad's mom into the building and Troy trembled on the way in. He didn't pay attention to the conversation Chad's mom had with the man behind the counter, simply following her down a series of hallways silently. Eventually they stopped at a door and Chad's mom placed a hand on his back. Her voice sounded like it was coming from the end of a tunnel.

"Are you ready, Troy?" She asked.

He nodded slowly and she led him into a room where two tables with sheets over them sat. Chad put a gentle hand on Troy's back. The corener looked at Troy and slowly pulled back the first sheet. His father. He clenched his fists on his shirt and bit his lip. Then his mother was uncovered. There was a loud scream and suddenly Troy was on his knees. Chad was on his knees a moment later, wrapping his arms around Troy.

"Let go!" He shouted, jumping to his feet.

Troy ran out of the room. He ran down the unfamiliar hallways and stumbled into a man covered in blood. He jumped sideways to avoid the man and hit the wall. He pushed himself against the wall, sobbing and panting. The man crouched down beside him.

"Are you alright? Where are your parents?" He asked.

"They're on a fucking table! They're dead!" He screamed. The man's eyes softened more than they already were.

"Give me a moment to change, then we'll get some coffee, eh?" He said. Troy sniffled and nodded.

A few minutes later Troy was following a man with light hair and dark eyes to the staff lounge. He sat in an armchair and pulled his knees up to his chest.

"So what happened?" He asked.

"Plane crash." Troy said quietly. "I didn't want them to go..but they went anyway."

"How much do you know about what killed them?" He asked softly.

"Nothing. I saw them and I..I ran." Troy said.

"The Boltons?" He asked. Troy nodded. "I did the autopsy."

Troy stared at him for a few moments before asking.

"How did they die? Did it..hurt?" He asked.

"Imediate cardiac arrest. They died on impact." He said. "They were dead before they knew they were going to die. They didn't feel it."

Troy looked at him with tears in his eyes. He sniffled and stared at his knees.

"I used to play basketball. I was Team Captain. And I was singing in my high school's musical. Lead role. I thought they'd dissaprove but they supported me. You know, after the initial shock that is." He sighed. "I got diagnosed with an anxiety disorder 6 months ago. Because I was throwing up blood, they brought me to the hospitol. Found out I had an ulcer from all the stress. I had to drop them both. I felt like I was letting them down. I was independant before that. Afterward they were constantly worried about me. It was like they had another baby, but the one that grew up wasn't around to help."

He stayed silent, watching Troy ramble.

"She said she loved me. And she'd see me soon." He said, wiping his eyes.

"Not too soon now, I'd hope." He said. Troy bit his lip.

"I yelled at Chad." He whispered, his chest tightening. "Oh my God. Oh my God."

"Hey, hey, calm down, who's Chad?" He asked.

"He came here to help me and I yelled at him. Oh my fucking GOD. What if something happens to him? And the last thing I said to him was to leave me alone." He was hyperventalating now. "Oh my God."

The man pulled Chad out of the chair and led him down the hall to the front of the building where Chad was waiting. When he saw Troy he ran over and gathered him into a hug.

"Where were you?" He asked. "You scared me. I know it's hard, but please don't do that again."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Troy said. He gripped Chad's shirt.

"Talk to me." Chad said softly.

"It's real now." Troy whispered. Chad buried his face in Troy's hair.

"I know." He whispered. Troy cried against him silently for several minutes before he felt a wetness on his head and looked up. Chad was crying, too.

"You miss them too." Troy whispered.

"Of course I do, Troy. But this is different than for you. This is like loosing an aunt and uncle that I saw a lot but wasn't particularly close with. You lost your parents. We're going to mourn for the same people in different ways." Chad said. Troy shook his head.

"I don't want to mourn. I want them to come home." Troy said, shaking his head. Chad hugged him close.

"They're not coming home." He said softly.

"Then I want to move on." Troy said. Chad lifted the smaller boy's chin.

"You can move on. After you process everything. But you're not a machine. There's no estimated time frame. There's just you. So take all the time you need." Chad said. Troy pressed his face into Chad's chest. "Baby steps. Funeral. Will. School."

"Fuck school." Troy said.

"Yeah, we've all felt that way." The mortition said.

"No, Troy, I'm sorry. You don't have to go back. It's ok." Chad said. Troy was shaking all over. "I'm sorry."

"Why is school so terrible?" The mortition asked.

"His dad worked at the school. Coach Bolton." Chad said. Troy pulled at Chad's shirt. "What?"

"Can we go home?" Troy asked almost inaudibly. Chad hugged him.

"Of course." He said, leading him out to the car.

* * *

_**A/N: This is on one of my longest FF's. (In terms of word count per chapter)**_


	5. Storytelling, Part 1

When Monday came around Chad didn't want to wake Troy up. He'd finally settled down from his nightmare and was sleeping peacefully. Chad was aware that Troy was going through the rollar coster of memories and emotions right now and probably would be for a little while at least. This wasn't something you could just get over. This was life changing. Troy was content to just lay with Chad, but he was slowly waking up. There was a fine line between reality and dream right now and he didn't want it to come into focus yet. He rolled and looked up at Chad.

"Sleep well?" Chad asked.

"There was a taco and a monkey." Troy mumbled out tiredly.

"I'm sure there was." Chad said. Troy grinned at him.

"They were dancing. It was a girl taco." Troy said. Chad laughed softly.

"Oh really?" He asked.

"Yup." Troy yawned and rested his head on Chad's chest. "What day is it?"

"Monday." Chad said softly. Troy groaned.

"I don't wanna go to school. I'm still tired." He said.

"You're not going to school, Troy." Chad said in a low, almost concerned voice. Troy felt his memories slide into place and the sleep-blurred line of  
reality came into sudden and sharp focus. Would it always be this way? A silent lie in the morning as he woke, just enough to get him out of bed? His parents were dead. That was how it was. He looked at Chad.

"What time is it?" He asked softly.

"8 o'clock." Chad said. Troy nodded and tucked his head under Chad's chin and let out a quiet noise of contentment. "You're like a kitten."

"Meow." Troy said. Chad laughed and sat up, effectively ruining Troy's cuddle time. "Hey! I was comfy you know."

"I'm sure you were." Chad said. Troy looked at him almost sadly.

"I guess it really is time to get up, huh?" He said. Chad nodded and ran his fingers through Troy's hair.

"You know this is the worst of it." Chad said. "After this it's still gonna hurt, but in a way, it'll be over."

"I know." Troy whispered. "Let's get dressed."

"Ok." Chad said softly.

He got up and put on some black pants and a black button down shirt. Troy put on a plain black t-shirt and some dark blue jeans. He slid on his black shoes and his favorite hoodie. Chad sat beside him and held out his hand. Troy took it nervously.

"I'm gonna try to talk. But if I can't I need you to jump in and save me, ok?" Troy said. Chad nodded, running his thumb over the back of Troy's hand.

"Don't think about anything. Just tell stories." Chad suggested. Troy nodded and leaned his head on Chad's shoulder.

"You really are my best friend." Troy said. Chad smiled at that.

"You're mine, too." Chad said.

"Doesn't it get frustrating? I mean when you met me I was tottally normal and functioning, and now I'm a mess. I let the team and my parents down. Didn't I let you down?" Troy asked.

"No." Chad said.

"How did I not?" Troy asked.

"I never put expectations on you, not intentionally. Everything you do and say that makes you who you are." Chad said. "You are strong and kind and true to yourself. You are YOU. And that's why we're friends. We have memories. We have stories we can laugh about. We have stories we can be sad about. We're connected, through the good and the bad."

Troy leaned against Chad's chest.

"Sound's like a wedding vow." Troy laughed softly. Chad laughed with him.

"Yeah, maybe." He hugged Troy.

"We should probably get going, huh?" Troy said. Chad nodded and stood, not letting go of Troy's hand as he walked out of his room. They got into Chad's car silently and drove to the funeral home. There were people everywhere and Troy stared at the ground. He heard people calling out his name and he ignored them. Until Gabriella suddenly attatched herself to him.

"Hey Troy." She flirted. "If you ever need to get away or anything just call me, ok? We can go out to dinner."

"Gabriella why would I _ever_ want to do anything with you?" Troy snapped at her. She binked a few times, shocked.

"But we've got so much history." She said. Chad pulled Troy against his side.

"You're not going to take advantage of him, Gabriella." Chad said in a low voice. She backed up a few steps.

"How could _I_ take advantage of _him_?" She snapped.

"The same way you threw me to the wind when I wasn't good enough." Troy snapped. Chad dragged him into the funeral home and stopped him just before the open caskets. "Do we have to do this?"

"Yeah." Chad said softly.

Troy stared at his feet for a few moments before slowly walking to the caskets. They were late, everyone was already there, waiting for kind words to be spoken, their chance to show a little sympathy, and to go home and thank God it wasn't them. Most everyone was seated and Chad stood by Troy as a silence came over the entire place. Troy was crying softly, his tears hitting the edge of the coffin. Everyone watched him, almost waiting. Finally their patience was rewarded.

"I remember in First grade, when everyone was making friends, learning how to read and write their names. I already had one friend, so I didn't care really if I made any more, because my dad told me that it was quality not quantity. I'll admit I had to ask my mom for a translation, but once I had the idea, I pretty much realized I only needed one friend. I figured I could make another in second grade, and one more in third, so I'd have a friend for every year of school. But turning 7 was such a big deal to me. It meant I could use the toaster without help, and pour my own cereal, because I was a big boy. But when mom tried to throw me a 'big boy' party I got so mad, because I thought big boys spent their birthday with just their family, because my parents never had friends over on their birthday. Turns out my mom meant McDonalds and ice cream with her and Chad." Troy paused and looked at his mothers face before launching into another memory. "When I was ten I had a huge growth spurt, and I was almost as tall as her. She told me I was growing up too fast, and that she was getting old, that because of the limited height difference, she was shrinking as well as me growing. I told her she was growing backwards, getting younger. I told her that she was shrinking as fast as I was growing, so that when I was 20, she would only be 30. She was 34 when I told her that."


End file.
